Plum duff

Hello Tightwad enthusiasts,

Last time we met I had just done a practice session at Mallory in preparation for the 35th annual plum pudding race.

Boxing day saw me and the scooter which was wedged tightly into the back of my car, set off for a days racing. This event is quite good value as you get three races and not two for a few pounds less than normal. I had picked up fellow racer Steve Conneely en route so i did not have to push it on my own and arrived at the circuit at 7.30.

The weather was cold with patches of cold and the odd ray of cold. Still undetered we unpacked the bike and started to clean it and repair it from the practice session. The plug was changed and new plug cap fitted and we then set off for scrutineering. This was an unusual process as the scrutineer said "I don't know anything about scooters so you will have to be patient with me". "Not to worry", I said, "I happen to be a scrutineer for the BSSO" and set about educating the poor woman. Needless to say, the scooter passed with flying colours and I was free to go off and sign in.

With the paper work out of the way I thought it would be a good idea to start the bike and check it was all ok. Would she start? would she heck so it was back to the stand and have a look at what the problem was. The plug was dry so after a quick check we pushed it once more and this time it started. The engine of extreme hope sounded keen enough so i put the fault down to a sticking float valve. The engine did not start too well all day but ran ok. Either the weather was bothering it or the new plug was a bit fussy.

There were three other scooter racers there this year. The flying Charlie Edmonds, Bullet and Pellet. Charlie went out in the first session but Bullet, pellet and i went out in the second which is a shame as i could have gauged my performance against Charlies by seeing how long it takes him to lap me. Either way everything was going well until lap two when i developed a rattle in the engine and came into the paddock to see what was up. It was nothing too serious and a loose head cowling always sounds worse than it is.

I missed the rest of the session but managed to fix the cowling and before long we were out to start the race. Three people fell off on the sighting lap which is a big no no (£50 fine) so we had a delayed start and another sighting lap. Only two fell off this time so the delay was not as bad but i was wondering if we would ever make it to the start of the grid. Eventually the race started and we were off. I catapulted into last position and wondered whether my brakes were stuck on. I caught up with Bullet and Pellet at Gerrards and passed them both. They fought back a bit for the rest of the lap but i emerged victorious in the end. Both of them have more power and speed than me so i felt quite good about it. I also overtook an MZ 250 and held this spot till the end of the race. It was quite a result for me as i have raced this event for the last three years and come last with a more powerfull bike before so this was indeed an improvement, also i was not pushing as hard as i could so i was looking forward to race two.

The bike came out of the first race without any issues so it was out for race two after a delay while they cleared up the mess from the car race (check it out on youtube). I got a much better start and held off Bullet and Pellet into Gerrards and was pestering an MZ and an RD250. I overtook both of them but the RD straight lined me on the start finish straight but i got past him again at Gerrards and held him off along the back straight and into Edwinas. Then as i turned into the esses a loud and unmistakable noise of no exhaust filled mine and everyone elses ears. I looked down to see of i had a tail can and indeed i did. That meant that i had split the pipe further up. The JL4 pipe which i have borrowed to get me going had exploded and the stub end was hanging by the tensioning spring under the bike. Game over and i crawled back to the paddock.

These JL4's work well but are indeed a load of shit. I suspect that this latest generation of the pipe are made frome Chinese steel which is cheap and useless as a cost cutting exercise that will only fail and disapoint you. My advice is to stay well clear of them as this is not the only one to do this that i have heard of. It's not as if they are a cheap option either so buy any other type not the JL's.

The other lads did well for themselves and gave the crowd a good show. I enjoyed the event even though it was a bit short for me and i will be there again next year.

Thanks to Steve, Squaddie and Handbags for their help.

Keep your eyes peeled for a tuning update as the Tightwad bike has caught the attention of a well known engine tuner who is willing to help get more power out of the old girl.

If you would like to help support the Tightwad bike Call 07751 267711 or e-mail siredward@btinternet.com

Happy new year to you and remember. If you are looking at the back of the Tightwad bike you are not a rubbish racer, just one of many to come.

Cold and wet

Hello Tightwad fans,

Over the winter it is a time of frustration for us racers as there is nothing else to do than polish your bike and tinker for the hell of it. To stop yourself suffering too much with withdrawal symptoms, Mallory park put on an open race on boxing day called the "plum pudding race". This year it is the 35th anniversary meeting so i thought i would enter it. But before i do this event i thought it would be a good idea to do a practice day as i have reworked the engine and need to check it is running ok.

Friday 19th of December saw me and my little scooter head off to do an afternoon of testing on a track that did not get above 5 degrees. I was there a bit early so i could watch the cars do a few laps as they practice in the mornings and bikes in the afternoons. As the weather was so cold the track was really struggling to dry out but a dry line was starting to emerge. Then disaster, a ford escort driven by a complete wanker blew its gearbox and instead of pulling off and waiting for recovery, this rocket scientist thought he would do nearly a full lap spewing out oil and drive back. I hope you read this blog you piece of shit as you spoil it for other track users.

Anyway the track marshalls did a quick and successful job of clearing it up for a change and before long i was out on track and testing the bike.

Now, as the track was soaking wet from the clean up operation i was not going to get any lap records but i could at least let the engine scream a bit in top and hold onto the clutch in case it seized. The bike seemed slow and lumpy and had an intermittant misfire but i stayed out for ten laps to see if i could get a better idea of what the fault was. I was having fun but the bike seemed slower than the last time i took it out and i was wondering if i had made a mistake with this last session of tuning. I pulled into the paddock and set about checking the engine. Firstly i found that my plug cap has worn out and was floating on the top of the plug so that would explain the misfire but everything else seemed ok. I refuelled the bike set out for the next session.

My local Tesco's is now selling 99 octane super unleaded so i thought i would try it and see if is any good. The verdict is that i have not noticed any difference between v-power and Tesco's other than Tesco's is cheaper. I think i will run it for 2009.

The second session was much better with the misfire repaired and all the old fuel from the summer used and replaced with fresh stuff, i found the grin factor growing and i got totally carried away with riding around a cold wet circuit and started to push for a better lap time. This was not the day to do that sort of thing but i did not crash so i got away with it really. The end of the second session came round all too quickly and it was into the paddock to check the plug colour. On inspection i was hoping that it was running rich and i could down jet and get more power out of it but no such luck, it was on the money. That is all the engine has in it, it is running a bit better than it was and is pulling a few more revs but i was hoping for a greater power increase. I reckon i have only given it another 1-2hp extra so i will have to go with that for boxing day and have another look at it after christmas. ( i have a plan)

A mention should be made about this chap who was parked next to me in the paddock and pestered me all afternoon to let him have a go on it in return for a blast on his Ducati. I turned the offer down as it's a motorbicycle and thus any fool could ride one and where is the challenge in that. (actually i was too scared to get on it)

So there you are, maybe as many as 40 laps of Mallory for only 49 quid. Not bad value and the bike is still in one piece. I have sprung a small oil leak but nothing to worry about and it will all be ready for boxing day. I will update you afterwards.

So don't forget to ask for a Lambretta for christmas and join the BSSO.

I do not have a picture of the practice session so i have put on a pic of a zebra showing you its arse.

Merry christmas and remember to try and find some sponsership for the Tightwad racer.

E-mail siredward@btinternet.com or call 07751267711 with any help you can give.

cadwell (end of season)

Hello Tightwad enthusiasts,

The last time we met I had just finished a successful meeting at Lydden and before long we all arrived at Cadwell for the last race meeting for 2008. As Saturday broke it was not such a pleasant morning but managed to get the bike into the first practice session nice and early. As i was going round through the fog descended very quickly and it became so thick that you could not see your braking points. Never mind though, the few laps i did filled me with confidence in the engine after the seizure at Lydden.

Race one came about after a delay and that meant that we would only get one race that day. I got a good start but on such a long circuit i got swamped by most people going up the hill and settled into my usual slot mixing it with bullit and pellet. I was making good corner speed and my braking was fairly good but with two long straights per lap if anyone wanted to get past they just had to wait for one of them and straight line me on the power. This is a bit disheartening when all your good work is undone by nothing more than sitting there and twisting the throttle. The bike was working well though but was a bit loose on the high speed corners, more tyre pressure needed. Finished near the back but not anywhere near last.

Race one (Sunday), Made some adjustments to the tyre pressures and that made a big difference. The bike felt much more stable and that helped me reduce my lap times but i still faced the same problem of running out of engine before everyone else. The engine is not revving out enough yet and the carburation is still a long way off. But i was still having a ball and mixing it with the back end of the pack. I even managed to overtake a couple of people and had a good dice with pellet. Pretty much finished in the same position but by this time I am starting to get a bit frustrated with the lack of power and ground clearance.

Race three was a bit better and i was getting a bit more agresive which meant that i spent most of the corners hitting the exhaust on the floor and shitting myself. Even though my race position was similar i had a great time racing one of my favourite circuits and the esses into the woods is the best part of it.

So there you are three meetings gone and the bike has never come last. In fact I have come 11th in a class of twenty in three meetings with the lowest power out of the lot (by a long way). A good result really with an indian crank, piston and irol barrel. Over the winter i will be tuning the bike a bit more with the intention of getting ito the top ten. All tuning work will be on a budget and i need to get another 5hp out of it at least. A bit of a tall order i know but i will try my best to do it.

Can you help? Would you like to sponser my group 4 bike for 2009? if so contact me at siredward@btinternet.com or call 07751267711 anything you can do to help would be great.

Will update you all soon, so i am off to get the spanners out and dissapear into the garage for three months.

Tune in next time when i will be writing an article for scootering magazine which will feature unashamed arse kissing.

Hairy Hill. (no not the comedian)

Hello once again my worshipers,

Last time we met I had just raced the bike for the first time and it has to be said that it was not the fastest bike out there but it was not the last one over the finish line either. The engine got a bit left behind on the long straights and the rider needed some more practise.

The next race was at Lydden in the cunt kentryside, sorry Kent countryside. This circuit is quite short and not very technical and features Hairy hill. This hill has to be seen to be believed as it is very steep. Anyone with low hp and a narrow rev range was going to suffer there and i was no exception.

Race one started with me half way up the grid. Two strong finishes at Anglsey meant that i had qualified in mid field which is much better than before. I managed a very good start and got into the first corner quite well and even though it was a bit tight due to the numbers i came out f it a few places better off. As we all headed down the back straight i got overtaken by most of them and even got straight lined by all the 70cc zips. Over the course of the race i just got my head down and got on with it. I got passed by one or two racers who quallified badly but seemed to find my usual place near the back with Bullit and Pellit trying to catch Eddie Goode and Martin Wing.

Race two was very much the same story. I have been playing with the jetting and got it a bit wrong. The bike was slow and wooly even though i felt i was pushing harder, I did not finish any better off. I did catch Martin and Eddie but could not pass them.

Race three was a bit of a mess. Again i had been playing with the carb and went a bit over the top. This time the bike was going much faster and even though my start was not too good i was making progress. The bike was a bit off the boil at mid throttle but was revving out a tad more. I was just getting the hang of it when i flew round the last corner onto the start finish straight and changed into top gear and the thing seized solid. I coasted to the end of the straight and tried to bump it but it was still solid. I parked it by the barrier and sat back to watch the rest of them. They only came round one more time and the race was over. If the bike had seized half a lap later i could have freewheeled down Hairy hill and got a finish. (b*****d) The marshalls came over to give me a hand to remove the bike but they were not needed. I had been rocking the bike in gear as it cooled down and it freed up. I had good compression so i bumped her up and off she went as if nothing had happened.

Race four was a better result but as i had to change the jetting to avoid another nip it was not so fast. Others had broken down or crashed handing me a better place and even one finishers bonus point.

There will be no Tightwads Alternative Tuning (T.W.A.T) this week as i have not had any time to do any.

If you like what you see and would like to sponser the Tighwad bike for next season please get in touch. e-mail siredward@btinternet.com and make someone happy (me)

Thats it for now so tune in next week when i will be sifting through Charlie Edmonds bin fir some better parts.

Race day

Hello my blessed ones,

Last time we were together it was getting close to the race weekend at Anglesey. Now this was not to be as straight forward as it should have been. I arrived on the Friday with enough time to watch the last half of the practice day that some of the riders were taking part in. It was certainly paying off as they were flying round on a circuit that is still in a new condition despite the previous season of car racing trying to destroy it.

So race day came and from the minute i woke up it was obvious that there was going to be a delay in racing or even a cancellation due to extreme weather. It had been raining since the early hours of the morning and blowing a gale as well and the whole place was just a miserable place to be. We managed to get scrutineering out of the way and then it was just a matter of waiting for the weather to cheer up.

By mid afternoon the rain had stopped and the wind had died down a bit so they let us out for an afternoon of practice and that would mean that we go straight into racing come Sunday. I started the bike and set out off onto the track. I have raced at this circuit before but not the shorter version that was to be used so i was going to have to learn this one. (there are three configurations). As i set out it became quite apparent that my engine was not quite powerful enough to match even the slowest of the others through the gears, but seemed to have a reasonable top end and corner exit power. As this track is made up of some quite long straights and fast flowing corners i was going to have to come up with some brilliant riding in order to keep up.

So race one came along and of course i am near the back of the grid. I got a very good start and managed to get towards the front of the pack by the second corner and then everyone blasted past me on the power as i got onto the back straight. I tried desperately to squeeze some more power out of it but every time i got to a straight one or two slipped by. My placing seem to settle near the back and the only way i could stay there was to work on my corner speed. The race finished with me towards the back but i did overtake a few and outbrake some.

Race two was a bit better, i did not get the same sort of start but my cornering was improving and i was starting to get a bit more familiar with the bike. As the end of the race came the engine would not shut off and as i pulled the clutch in the engine was racing away. This was tracked down to the tickover screw winding its way in due to vibration.

I pretty much finished where i thought i would at the back of the pack and had a great time doing it. The bike did not blow up and i did not crash. I do however need to trust my tyres a bit more and corner faster. On the bonus side i did beat Mr Edmonds (championship leader) in the second race as he crashed out. This is quite a rare occurence with him but i am counting it as a victory for me.

leave it out! its

TightWads Alternative Tuning

This week we are tuning the riders techniques. When running a drum front brake, make sure you tell everyone that 1. you are running a drum brake and 2. its crap. Then when you are fighting to get to a corner the opposition will bottle it and give you the place as they think you cannot stop and are bound to crash. All you have to do is keep it on the track. (this really does work)

Thats it for now so tune in next week when i will be telling other racers "i beat you for 280 quid"ha ha ha.

If you would like to fight for the underdog and sponser the Tightwad racer for next season please leave a message. I can offer a bogof deal with the Tightwad bike and a sidecar. This is a rare chance to make history. No amount too big and i accept cash.

Testes

Hello Tightwad worshipers, Last time we met I had just put the bike back together after the outing to the dyno. The 23rd July came along and off i went to Mallory park to give it a good run. The practice sessions start at 1-30pm and you get quite a bit of testing time for only 49quid.

I managed to get a lift with fellow racer Steve Conneely even though he was not taking his bike along, he just thought it would be funny to watch my budget build blow up on the first lap.

There were a small contingent of scooters there, Paul Green, Scotty, Chris Taylor and I made a nice little group in one corner of the paddock. Much interest was taken in the Tightwad racer and most were interested in the fact that it has a bit of chrome on it. Now Chris Taylor had taken his sidecar as well and on closer inspection we noticed it had no engine. On even closer inspection we noticed that the engine for it was not in one piece either. So while he set about putting it together I set out for the first session.

The paddock was quite full for a Wednesday and the first session was for the smaller slower bikes. Now there were not many slower than me there so i went out in that group. As i exited the pit lane onto the track the bike felt good from the word go. No wobbles or vibrations and it felt tight and positive. The engine of extreme hope seemed to pull quite well and i set about putting in five laps and then back in to inspect any issues. A quick look round and everything looked good. By this time Paul green was ready to go out and so i tagged onto the back of him for another few laps and then back into the paddock to let it cool down and put some fuel in. It was good to pace myself against paul as his power output is not too far above mine and he was running on unleaded as well.

The second session saw me push the bike a bit harder and try and get comfortable on the corners. I thought i was cornering like a demon until a kid on a 125 blasted past me up the inside of the hairpin. I was following Paul around for a while and then i pushed on for a bit to work on some of the corners. Now this was not easy as i spent half the time diving out of the way of some battling bikes that thought it was a race and not a practice. I managed about 8 laps and then went back in to get a drink.(it was a very hot day)

The third session i spent riding round with Paul again who is struggling with Gerards bend. It would seem that slower, tighter corners are what he is experienced with but long flowing fast corners are a bit of an issue. I thought i would try and help out by cruising around the outside of him and see if he tries to beat me out of the bend. This seemed to work and he got faster and faster and of course his lap times got quicker. Over the rest of the lap the two bikes were pretty evenly matched and this was great fun trying to race each other. Before we knew it we had done 15 laps and the session had finished.

After the bike had cooled down i found i had sprung an oil leak. The chaincasing had been welded years ago and not very well and had fractured. No matter i will sort it out and be ready for Anglesey. A good days testing And had a lot of fun as well. I am surprised that none of the other racers came along. Its better value than a track day.

The bike was brilliant and the spectators all thought that is seemed fast enough to race. Some lap times were taken when i had a clear track and i think it should be quick enough to not get left too far behind. The jetting was not altered yet so it will get faster over the race weekend as i start tweeking it.

So there you are all in one piece and no blow ups.

Let do a quick.....

TightWads Alternative Tuning (T.W.A.T)

Increase your speed by waiting for someone faster to come past you and then grab hold of the back of him. This will speed you up and slow him down. (footballers do it all the time)

Tune in next week when i will be selling pieces of Weston pier to American tourists. (got to be worth a few quid)

On Inspection

Hello my tightfisted bretheren, Last time we met I had just finished on the dyno and had given it some death on a road test. I was very pleased with the build so far but the power curve was bothering me a bit. The shape of it meant that it was running lean at low revs and rich at high revs. I need to consult a tuning Guru at some point as to why this should happen as it is more usual to run rich at the bottom end and lean at the top.

Still not to worry yet, it was more important to dive into the gearbox and have a look at the issues in there. I needed to re-shim the end float and see what was causing the rattling noise as you change down. It will not come as much of a surprise to you say that i had knocked a tooth off third gear. I was taking a risk with an early pacemaker box which are renowned for a weak third gear but i did not think i was making enough power to bother it too much. I was obviously wrong and so replaced it with a li150 box which i had for a rainy day. I then re-shimed the box from a 1.67mm shim to a 2.25mm one which meant that it was a little on the tight side but it turned fairly freely and would bed in as i used the engine a bit.

Now while i am tinkering about with the gearbox, fellow blogger Paul Green is trying to put together a practice session for us poor scooter riders as the BSSO are on a months summer break and he was not very pleased with his last race times. So i have messaged him and think i will take the bike along and try it out. Roll on the 23rd of july.

Woof ya kipper its.......

TightWads Alternative Tuning (T.W.A.T)

Not much to put in this week as the bike is pretty much finished so we are going to tune the riding tactics. When racing into a head wind, simply turn around on the bike and you will have the wind behind you.

That's it for now, so tune in next week when i will be stealing 50 drain covers and selling them for scrap so i can pay for a litre of petrol.

Setting up

Hello devoted henchmen, Last time we spoke i had just started the engine up and checked it all worked ok. This episode we are visiting the dyno to see if we can get any power out of it and see if it will stay together.

So off i went to Clockhill scooters owned by Paddy O'conner (I think thats his surname) who not only has his own dyno but is a racer himself and as such gives you a very sympathetic go on his machine for not alot of notes. We strapped the bike to the roller and started it up to warm the engine and do a test run. This saves a lot of messing about as if your engine is set a long way out you can use this first run to see if it is too rich or lean before you open it up fully.

1st run, using a 290 main jet and needle set to its leanest. The bike started ok and pulled at bottom end but it was very clear that it was too rich.

2nd run, using a 260 main jet and no alteration to the needle and a new plug fitted. This run was better and it started to rev a bit but not fully. The carb was blowing out vapour like mad and a lot of exhaust smoke coupled with fourstroking at revs meant that it was still too rich.

3rd run using a 260 main and on the warm up run it sounded much cleaner and was revving out fully but a bit woolly at the top end. We decided to do four power runs at this setting and it gave a peak reading of 19.3hp at the wheel.

As it was now a bit hot we let the bike cool a bit and i went round it to check for loose bolts. It had only shaken one out of the head cowling so not too bad.

4th run using 240 main. This sounded much better right from the start and again it was given four power runs giving a peak of 19.61 and holding power for longer. We were getting very close to finding the correct jetting until we found that a 240 is the smallest jet we had. It could do with coming down a couple of sizes yet as the dyno reading is very messy at revs which is a sign of running a bit rich.

The next thing to do was take it onto a private road and run it through the box and see if it will pull ok. The bike is woolly as you burble it along. Then screams off like a nutter and then drops power as you get into high revs. The bike does seem fast though and will pop a wheelie quite easily in first as it hits the power. It is much quicker than most road TS1's and it will get quicker as i play with the setup over the next few weeks, so i will be looking forward to that.

So let's recap on what the engine is. Second hand spanish (repaired) casing, Indian cast iron barrel. Indian crank, second hand ASSO piston, Indian electronic ignition, side spark (standard) head, Li150gearbox, borrowed carb and exhaust and only a mild race tune on the ports. Not a bad result really as it was taken up to 9grand every run and did not seize or blow up.

Now it was not all good news, there is too much end float on the gearbox, too much play in the gear hand control and the back brake is shit. But on the lighter side the bike goes well, is still in one piece and the front (drum) brake is shit hot.

Aye up son its,

TightWads Alternative Tuning (T.W.A.T)

This week we are looking at getting a better dyno reading. Lift the back of the dyno up so the bike is facing down hill.This will make it faster as it is rolling down hill.

Tune in next week when i will be visiting a race track test session and shouting at all the bikes "slow down. You'll have someones eye out with that".

There's life in the old girl

Hello loyal bretherin, and welcome to a special edition of my blog. Last time we met my friends, i was just about to paint anything that looked like it went on the bike and to a point i have. The front mudguard is painted and bolted on and one of the side panels is painted. The rear footboards have been finished and have been a right pain in the backside. I was at one point going to buy (spit) new ones but all of a sudden the prices have gone up. So i had no choice but to repair the ones i had in the Tightwad bin. These footboards were accident damaged and one of them was virtually bent double, but two days of hammering and welding got them into some sort of original shape.

The side panels are very second hand as well and were fractured due to accidents and the cracks are polluted with oil from the carb. This meant that i could not fill them properly and after painting the cracks came back after a few minutes. Not to worry though, it still looks pretty good.

At this point i would like to explain why i have had such a delay between this and my last entry. It is because i did not want to do another entry until the engine was running. This was proving difficult as i didn't have an exhaust and i still don't. The one in the picture is borrowed to get the bike running and i am on to a half decent pipe on e-bay. (don't bid on it)

So there you have it, By the time i had waited for a decent bit of weather to start the bike i had been tinkering while it rained and before i knew it i had virtually finished it.

Eventually the rain stopped and i took it out into the road. First i checked for sparklers and i seemed to have a couple in there somewhere and then fitted the plug. Turned the fuel on and pulled out the choke. Freed the clutch by rocking it in gear and started to push it as fast as i could. As i reached my top pushing speed i selected second gear and let the clutch out as i jumped onto the seat and my arse cheeks made contact. The engine started to turn over but nothing happened. Try again and this time jump on the thing a bit harder and as the engine started to turn it fired just once. Third time lucky, And it was off up the road with me feeling very proud. I pulled into a neighbours drive (sod 'em) and revved it a bit while i knocked the choke off. The engine is massively over jetted but sounds great.

I ran the bike up and down the street a couple of times to free it up a bit and then put it away. That was enough for one day.

The old girl runs and what next? Well i will be taking it to see the dyno and play with the jetting and see if i have been wasting my time.

Hold onto you hats its......

TightWads Alternative Tuning (about bloody time)

This week we are tuning the bodywork. As you cannot put extra holes in your bodywork to aid cooling, simply fit it all so badly that you have massive gaps everywhere. (easy with a serveta)

Tune in next time when i will be making stainless tat and selling it through a Vietnamese web site to make a killing.

Getting closer

Hello devoted fans, the last entry saw not too much progress and the last couple of weeks have been just as hectic. Another project of mine got in the way and cost me a weeks work (more on that later) and some much needed decorating and maintenance on the Tightwad cave meant that time just flew by. (its not all glamour in the super hero world you know)

But working at the speed of light meant that i did do some work on the bike. When we were last together my deciples, I was in the process of painting some bits. Now this proved to be tricky as i dont have a spray boothe and it has been raining alot of late. But i managed to squirt a bit of paint somewhere near it and considering that i am using spray cans it did'nt come out too bad. I also had a good bit of fortune sourcing some parts from an ex-racer to the tune of two side panels amd a front mudguard. They are not perfect but not in bad condition so i will try and paint them all this week.

The engine of extreme hope is nearly ready to start up providing that i can get an exhaust for it. Now the coffers are running very low at the moment and provided that i can get a pipe for fifty quid we should be ok. (some hope)

The observant among you will have noticed that the bike is sporting a new Mikuni carb that would quite easily put me over budget, but fear not fellow skinflints it is only on loan while i get the bike running and sort out the delorto i have pieced together from bits and bobs. Also i am using a drum front brake as they are cheap and i probably will not be going fast enough to need any stopping power.

As the project is getting dangerously close to competion, i plan to bring it out to a race meeting before long. Mallory park is a bit too near but the following meeting on Anglesey could see the first outing of the Tightwad racer. We will have to see how it goes.

Well stone me, its.......

TightWads Alternative Tuning (TWAT)

This week we are looking at the brakes. Tie one end of a piece of string to the back of the bike, and the other end to a brick. When you need extra stopping power you simply throw the brick out behind you. friction will take hold and reduce the speed you are travelling at. After you have finished braking just pull in the string and brick and put it on your floor boards.

Thats it for now, so tune in next week when i will be putting on a Polish accent and not paying tax and insurance to help put money into the bike.

hitch hikers

Hello loyal fans,

This week has been filled with mixed feelings. Progress on the bike has been steady and time consuming. But we are now into the stages of preparing the body work for paint. All the rubbing down and skimming filler into the imperfections has left me feeling exhausted.

The leg shields have taken most time so far as they were not as good as i thought they were on first inspection. A bit of panel beating and welding was needed and of course the hammer of ooyafucka was used to great effect.

The next problem was the fuel tank. It looked perfect and only needed painting, or so i thought. If you were to look inside the tank it was clean and rust free but if you were to rattle it, it made a horrible noise. I took it over to the degreaser to flush it out. Now, what would you expect to come out of a petrol tank

1 old petrol

2 nuts and bolts (maybe)

3 a coin perhaps

No, i found part of the fuel tap strainer (no surprise there) and believe me i was not expecting this " A BLOODY LIZARD". Now the lizard was dead and had been for a long time as it was rock hard and that was making it rattle when i shook the tank. This petrol tank came off an imported bike and during the time it was stood still waiting for someone to import it into the country, a local reptile thought it would crawl in and have a kip. Obviously it could not get out and it must have starved to death.(it does look thin).

So let that be a lesson to us all. If your tank looks clean it does not mean that it is. Give it a good shake and clean out all the dregs. "remember kids, just say no to dregs".

Would you credit it, its

TightWads Alternative Tuning (T.W.A.T)

This week we are looking at fuel. As octane booster in your fuel is illegal, simply saturate all the air around your race track with octane booster and drag it in through the carb.

Tune in next week when i will be forging a winning lottery ticket so i win and not some council estate drug dealer.

Taking shape

Hello enormous listening world,

First i would like to apologise for not putting an entry in last week, but i have had alot on my plate and found it hard to fit it all in. This does not mean that i have been idle. oh no far from it. I have saved the planet many many times this week (as super hero's do) and still managed to put some bits together. Now where did i get to. Last time we met dear friends I believe everything was away being painted or in progress, and it still is to a degree.

The frame is back an looks good for the price, the forks are in and the new bearings are running smoothly in the tracks (mr Green). The back light is on and so is the coil. The headset is built and on and the engine of extreme hope is bolted in but not finished yet.

As i am running on a tight (wad) budget, I have been reconditioning used parts. This means that they are just as good as new ones but it takes alot longer to do, especially the small bits. All that cleaning and sourcing is doing my tree in.

So have a look at the pictures and tell me what you think of the colour. If you dont like the colour you need to get some therapy, I love it (all the shades).

Hang on a minute, Its TightWads Alternative Tuning (T.W.A.T)

This week we are tuning the rider using Zen techniques. If you truly believe thet you are winning a race and have meditated properly you will indeed win. If any one beats you in the race it is purely an illusion and they are liars.

Mr Taylor commented on the problem of transporting all your equipment to a race meeting. The answer is simple, you put it all under one arm and fly there.

Tune in next week when i will mugging old ladies to raise money for the bike.

rubbery

Hello once again,


Not alot to show for all the work that has gone into the bike this week. As you all know the super hero life can be busy at times and i have saved the planet quite a few times this week as well as chase some Iranians about the Countryside.(that did actually happen)


So what have i done so far. Well the casing has been ported and so has the barrel transfers but still have to do the exhaust and inlet ports. The headset has been painted and so have the forks. The frame is away being blasted and powder coated. Now i know what you are thinking "I bet that cost a few quid" and indeed it will. If i were to clean down the frame and paint it, it would be cheaper but would take forever to do and my local powder coater is very cheap.


This brings me onto the subject of paint. I managed to get hold of some paint for nothing. One of my local paint suppliers was throwing out some out of date paint so i had it. It does however mean that the bike will be all the same colour, but not all the same shade. I am not that bothered as it will still look better than alot of them out there.


And now the bad news. I searched and searcheed through the Tightwad cave but could not find and decent tyres, so i had to buy some "50 flippin quid" the robbing b******s. Anyway its done now and even though i feel i have been had it could not be avoided. As you can see from the picture i have only one wheel, but i a sure i have another one somewhere and i will dig it out later.


Lets do....


TightWads Alternative Tuning (T.W.A.T)


Inflate your tyres with Helium. As it is lighter than air it will give a better power to weight ratio.


Tune in next week when I shall be e-mailing everyone on ebay and asking if it is gold plated for that price you s**t bag.

The Engine of extreme hope.

Hello my friends. This week i have been piecing together some old tat from the Tightwad cave floor. And stone me if I don't have the best part of an engine kicking about. The basis of my build is a Spanish casing that i was given on account that it had a hole in it where you should'nt have one. So I have welded this up and collected a few other bits and I will be Tuning it later this week. The piston is a freebie as well and even the rings are good. The crank is a bit of a weak spot as it is as Indian as Ghandi's flip flops. I am working on the theory that as you can pick up low milage Indian cranks very cheap or even for nothing (as i did) that even if they only last a couple of meetings you can change them and save a fortune. (this could be a stupid theory)

I will be using specialist tools such as the hammer of "ooohyafucker" and the grinder of "kinell" to tune this engine and will be using alien technology to do this. This knowlege was taken from an unidentified object found in Birmingham. (no, not a tax disc)

Time for TightWads Alternative Tuning! (T.W.A.T)

Coat your big end bearing with baby shit (the stickyest substance known to man) And it will never wear out.

Tune in next week and hear me tell a well known scooter dealer that he is a "money grabbing pikey"

Go on then, who are you?

Hello one and all, Captain Tightwad at your service. My mission in life is to save the planet and build a racing scooter for as little as possible. Why? i hear you ask. Because super hero's need a hobby as well. As a dedicated scooterist and hoarder i was rummaging through the Tightwad cave and found bits i had forgotten about and it occured to me that i had nearly enough bits to build a bike. Why a racer? Restorations are good but a racer looks good fun and it will take my mind off the super villans i fight daily on a day to day basis. It is my intention to put this bike on the track for £350.

The project got off to a shakey start when i found that one of the parts that was missing was the frame. I had no choice but to buy one and so i tracked down a serveta frame for £100.(I feel sick)

At this point i would like to introduce you to a regular slot on my blog and that is,

the TightWad Alternative Tuning or T.W.A.T as i call it.

This weaks entry involves rust. Let your components rust in the garage for a few years and then have them shotblasted. This will clean off the outer layer of metal and make your bike that bit lighter. Also remove the mirrors.

Tune in next week when we will be looking at the engine and you can hear me say,

"How much!!!!?, you can f**k off"