Monday, 15 November 2010

Bad ebayer alert

Just need to put something on my blog so there is a reference to this arse hole so if you google him it will show up.


This man is a con artist. He is dangerous to deal with and has no right to live. He will sell items in lethal condition and have his excuses pre planned. He will deny all responsibility and knowledge of any problems and will be selective about what he has said earlier.

This man should be avoided like the plague. Do not buy or even deal with him at all and that way we may avoid someone getting hurt in the future.

I cannot stress strongly enough, never never deal with this wanker.

Do not let him make a victim of you.

you have been warned.

His real name is Andy Phillips, Earls way, Chorley.

If you see him in the street, don't forget to spit on him.

Sunday, 16 August 2009

Sorry for the lack of posts

Due to a very nasty virus in my computer, I am having trouble posting new entries on my blog. As soon as i can find a computer nerd who is not just a blagger but knows how to get rid of it i will update as soon as i can. Sorry for any delay. Ed

Thursday, 11 June 2009

Round 2/3 Three Sisters

The next meeting was a two day event at Three Sisters at Wigan. Now this circuit is a kart track that is tight and slow and the surface is very worn. I do not like this track because of this so I went along to make the best of it. On arrival the weather was ok but soon turned to heavey rain and hail. We managed to set the camp up ok and got ready for the races. All the bikes were fixed and running fine so it was just a case of putting in some steady laps and salvage a good grid position for the next day, or so i thought

Practice went well, nearly all of the bikes survived ok and we all were fairly happy that it would be racable. Jim did fall of in practice but not seriously.

Race1 solo. A good start from myself put me up the front but i did get squeezed out a bit on the infield sections. Martin is still struggling with engine setup but is making a more competative push and Jim is still learning the track so is hanging on at the back but doing ok. The end of the race came and that is where it all went wrong. The last couple of laps were too much for my clutch and it started to slip, still finished 7th overall and 4th in class. Martin fell halfway through the race and the bike landed on his foot and broke his toe DNF. Jim held in there and came in at the back but not last. Bloody hate this track.

Whilst waiting for the first race in the sidecar i was frantically trying to chang a clutch, Martin was on his way to hospital and Jim was walking round a bit dazed as i had just informed him that with Martin out of action, he was going to have to sit on the sidecar.

Race1 sidecars. A good start put us well in the running but with jim being a novice at a very demanding circuit we just cruised round and collected the points for finishing. (thanks Jim) It was also very wet so i did not risk crashing out.

Race 2 solo. Martin is still at the hospital at this point but word came back that its not too bad. Jim is ready to go and the clutch in my bike is changed (only just in time). The race was still in the wet so a frantic change of tyres saw us get to the holding bay in the nick of time. As the scooters went out on the warm up lap i struggled to get the engine started. In the panic to change the clutch i had not adjusted the cable and could not let the clutch out fully. As the flag dropped everyone screamed of and i slowly pulled away as if on a Sunday ride out. This meant that i could not get past quarter throttle and as a result came in at the back. Jim got away better but half way through the race he had a massive high side and fell. No injurys but the bike took a hammering. I came in 16th and Jim had a DNF. It was all going a bit wrong. Former Coventry rider and Performance Tuning splitter Steve Conneeley did well though getting a second in class, Steve is one of those wierdos that likes Three Sisters in the wet.

Jim doing a brave job in the extreme wet.

That night i put a new clutch in the sidecar as well as it started letting go in third gear and we set about fixing Jims bike. Steve and i changed the headset but we had to wait till the next morning to borrow some cylinders in order to straighten out his exhaust. It all got done in pleanty of time but with the fall he had, Jim did not want to go on the sidecar as he was a bit sore. I managed to get rent-a-passenger in the guise of Phil Bevis.

The sidecar races did not go smoothly with good starts being penalised by Phil leaning the wrong way through the esses. It did not make for fast laps but it was entertaining. Phil leaning the wrong way and me screaming "get over the other side before you f***ing kill us" must have been amusing to the marshalls on that corner just before they dived for cover. Needless to say we finished last on both races Sunday but thanks anyway Phil.

If nothing else, we looked fast.

The solo races went much better and i got a blistering start in both of them. I fought my way from the back of the grid through the tightest corners and salvaged the weekend. Both races were pretty similar but the last race gives you your grid position for the next round. I came in 11th but as luck was on my side, two 10 second penaltys were handed out for a false start and that put me into 9th.

A rare pic of Jim still upright.

Martins fall on investigation was due to his engine casing snapping and throwing him off. Jim fell in the wet due to having a road compound tyre and not a race one so all the problems are fixable.

So what about the paddock gossip? Well not much this meeting but one of the riders did fall off in the holding bay in full view of everyone.

Tune in next time when we shall be at a propper circuit again and we may even get Martins bike fixed (if he is recovered in time)

If you would like to sponser our team please get in touch

Saturday, 16 May 2009

Round 1 Mallory Park

Hello race fans, Round 1 saw the BSSO at Mallory Park. A good turn out from the scooters which meant that we had to split the grid. All the larger scooters in one race and the smaller group10 lads went in with the Ducatis. The weather was dry but cold and Team AONSC were as ready as we could be considering the tuning traumers we have been through. Martin got his engine back ok and was itching to try it. My solo bike was ready for testing and the sidecar had been rebuilt and repaired but there was no time for testing or developement on any of the machines.

Lets meet the rest of the team.

Cath and Jack, Gaz got in on this one some how.

Jim #672

Practice went ok with the group4 bike running fast and feeling good. Martin on the group6 bike did not have it so smooth. He was trying a new teflon coated piston and it did not work. The coating is so thick that you need to get your barrel resized to fit them in. After practice Martin complained that it was running tight and slow and was worried that it would seize. We opted to up jet the engine and short change the gears as we did not have another piston with us. The sidecar felt ok but a bit off the boil. It's the first outing since the winter rebuild so I was not too worried about it yet.

Race 1 solo's. I got a flying start and moved up near the front at the first corner. I was very pleased with the bike off the line and moved from 17th on the grid into the middle of the pack in one corner. I am still learning to ride the bike and just got my head down and worked on trying to go fast and smooth. Before i knew it the race had finished and I forget how many people I had overtaken but I came in something like 5th overall and second in class. Martin did not have such a good race as the bike was running so tight and cruised round to the finish but got it over the finish line safely.


Race1 sidecars. A good start sent us into first position. We were holding the opposition off ok and going well enough when we caught up a back marker from the bikes at the worst place. (the bus stop). We had to stop and select first gear, crawl behind him and relaunch again. By the time we had got going again Ralph and Chris got such a good run on us that we were overtaken on the exit. I managed to get past Chris and was getting my head down to pull Ralph in that I pushed too hard through edwina's and Martin missed his hand grip and fell off. Race over DNF.

Race 2 solo's. Again a good start from me but I got boxed in on the first corner and had to fight in the middle of the pack for elbow room. As it cleared I started making my way through the field but my clutch started slipping and found it impossible to get past a gaggle of group 6 bikes featuring Eddie (mobile chicane) Goode. Two laps from the end my throttle cable popped out of its seating and stuck half on. I managed to get the bike over the finish line in roughly 10th place. Martin did little different than in race 1 but still got it back safely.

Bloody Brummies.

Race2 sidecars. Not such a good start and with Martin a bit bruised after his fall I did not push too hard. The first time we went into Edwina's the front end locked up and I had to go down the escape road and emerged in third place. Ralph by this point was too far away but Chris was catchable. We started pulling him in when when luck started going in our favour for a change and he broke his elastic band and handed us second. We finished in that position but some adjustments are needed on the outfit. It will not rev out like it did last season so we will have a look at that.

Martin has been gaffer taped on for this race.

A traumatic start to the season but we will get better and smoother as time goes by. The t-shirts are a big success and we look quite professional as a result. Thanks to the crew for the help, next round is Three Sisters (spit).

Track gossip, Well no shortage of gossip and the usual cries of "cheating bastard" could be heard about the place. Loads of engine upgrades could be seen and the racers are all getting faster. Word is that Charlie is kicking out in the region of 40hp and he is certainly faster this year. Also which racer forgot to bring his boots?

Tune in next time and see if get all the issues sorted. Thanks to Replay scooters, Clock Hill scooters and of course the AONSC.

Saturday, 11 April 2009

Hello and welcome

Welcome to the all new "Team All Or Nothing Scooter Club Racing" (Team AONSC Racing). This blog will keep you informed of all the progress that the team makes throughout the 2009 season.

"Who is this wonder team?" I hear you cry, well we are a club based race team with every racer and supporter being a member of Coventry's premier scooter club, the All Or Nothing Scooter Club. So lets meet the Team.


Martin Wing #642

Ed Hocking #643

Ed and Martin #600 classic sidecar.

Gaz and Phil, support crew.

There are a couple of other members of the team that i have not got pictures of yet but as soon as i do i will put them up for you. Jacky and Cath do the more domestic side of things, making sure we make time to eat and drink properly not to mention Jacky's efforts behind the scenes with the t shirts. Also there is a new member to the racer side of things and as soon as we have signed him up i will put him on the blog. This season also sees a team mechanic joining us called Pat. His dad Paddy owns a scooter shop in Nuneaton called Clock Hill scooters and for a 15 year old lad is very competent at fixing Lambretta's so welcome Pat.

Keep an eye out for us at the race meeting as we may not have the fastest riders and the most powerful machines but we are improving every race and with the winter rebuilds and tune ups giving us more performance than we have ever had before, we are expecting a good result this season. Martin and I are trying to get the solo bikes into the overall top ten and another win or two in the sidecars would be great. Thanks to The All Or Nothing Scooter Club, Replay scooters (Chalky's Tuning) Pro Porting, Clock Hill Scooters, Carl Neath, Newco Catering Equipment, Rock Oil, and In Me Shedspeed. Racing starts Easter Monday at Mallory Park so if you can make it then come along and support us. If you would like to sponsor our team then you can contact Ed

I will also try to keep everyone informed of any gossip and hearsay, if there is non to be had i will make some up. So tune in next week and find out if we have any of the bikes in one piece.

Friday, 6 March 2009

In conclusion

Hello loyal followers,

Welcome to what is to be my last entry as Captain Tightwad. It has been a great pleasure to meet some of the TightWad Alternative Tuners (T.W.A.T.s) over the last few months. These are people who have read my blog and are enjoying what i have to say. It's nice to know that i am not wasting my time and i hope you have all been applying my tuning methods.

So, what have we all learned from my experiences? Well i have proved that you do not need all the baubles and trinkets to get out onto the race track and you do not need to spend a fortune to keep up and most of all have fun.

There are however certain areas that you should not cut corners on. I have been lucky in that the engine of extreme hope held together for three meetings without issue and i finished all but one race.

So as the season had finished i stripped the engine after giving it one last run on the dyno. The bike was taken to Replay scooters to be looked at and after pushing the damned thing for about a mile it eventually started. The maximum horsepower output was 21hp at the back wheel which was what i expected. The engine was then stripped and inspected. Everything was in good condition except for the piston which was only a few revolutions away from detonating. The bottom ring had fractured in three places and had chewed itself where it runs against the exhaust port and the top ring peg had come loose and worn a big hole in the side of the piston and chipped the ends of the ring away. The reason that the bike would not start very well is that it had very little compression as a result of the damage. So my dear skinflints, if you are to build a budget bike then use a new piston and not a second hand one of unknown history. That said, the indian crank that i thought would let me down was as good as new on inspection so it's not all bad.

I have enjoyed building and racing this bike so I will end this project here and wish everybody a safe and sound season for 2009.

Let's do one last TightWads Alternative Tuning (T.W.A.T)

Cover yourself and your bike with grease. This will help you slip through the air. (ha ha)

Thanks to Clockhill scooters of Nuneaton for their help and support with this project and i hope it has given one or two peope the incentive to start a racing project of their own.

Even though the Tightwad project is finished, it is not the end of my race blog. I will be reinventing the blog as an account of racing scooters for the 2009 season so watch this space as i will be telling it how it is.

So tune in for next time when you will see me spend as much a five quid on new bits. (i feel sick again)

Monday, 29 December 2008

Plum duff

Hello Tightwad enthusiasts,

Last time we met I had just done a practice session at Mallory in preparation for the 35th annual plum pudding race.

Boxing day saw me and the scooter which was wedged tightly into the back of my car, set off for a days racing. This event is quite good value as you get three races and not two for a few pounds less than normal. I had picked up fellow racer Steve Conneely en route so i did not have to push it on my own and arrived at the circuit at 7.30.

The weather was cold with patches of cold and the odd ray of cold. Still undetered we unpacked the bike and started to clean it and repair it from the practice session. The plug was changed and new plug cap fitted and we then set off for scrutineering. This was an unusual process as the scrutineer said "I don't know anything about scooters so you will have to be patient with me". "Not to worry", I said, "I happen to be a scrutineer for the BSSO" and set about educating the poor woman. Needless to say, the scooter passed with flying colours and I was free to go off and sign in.

With the paper work out of the way I thought it would be a good idea to start the bike and check it was all ok. Would she start? would she heck so it was back to the stand and have a look at what the problem was. The plug was dry so after a quick check we pushed it once more and this time it started. The engine of extreme hope sounded keen enough so i put the fault down to a sticking float valve. The engine did not start too well all day but ran ok. Either the weather was bothering it or the new plug was a bit fussy.

There were three other scooter racers there this year. The flying Charlie Edmonds, Bullet and Pellet. Charlie went out in the first session but Bullet, pellet and i went out in the second which is a shame as i could have gauged my performance against Charlies by seeing how long it takes him to lap me. Either way everything was going well until lap two when i developed a rattle in the engine and came into the paddock to see what was up. It was nothing too serious and a loose head cowling always sounds worse than it is.

I missed the rest of the session but managed to fix the cowling and before long we were out to start the race. Three people fell off on the sighting lap which is a big no no (£50 fine) so we had a delayed start and another sighting lap. Only two fell off this time so the delay was not as bad but i was wondering if we would ever make it to the start of the grid. Eventually the race started and we were off. I catapulted into last position and wondered whether my brakes were stuck on. I caught up with Bullet and Pellet at Gerrards and passed them both. They fought back a bit for the rest of the lap but i emerged victorious in the end. Both of them have more power and speed than me so i felt quite good about it. I also overtook an MZ 250 and held this spot till the end of the race. It was quite a result for me as i have raced this event for the last three years and come last with a more powerfull bike before so this was indeed an improvement, also i was not pushing as hard as i could so i was looking forward to race two.

The bike came out of the first race without any issues so it was out for race two after a delay while they cleared up the mess from the car race (check it out on youtube). I got a much better start and held off Bullet and Pellet into Gerrards and was pestering an MZ and an RD250. I overtook both of them but the RD straight lined me on the start finish straight but i got past him again at Gerrards and held him off along the back straight and into Edwinas. Then as i turned into the esses a loud and unmistakable noise of no exhaust filled mine and everyone elses ears. I looked down to see of i had a tail can and indeed i did. That meant that i had split the pipe further up. The JL4 pipe which i have borrowed to get me going had exploded and the stub end was hanging by the tensioning spring under the bike. Game over and i crawled back to the paddock.

These JL4's work well but are indeed a load of shit. I suspect that this latest generation of the pipe are made frome Chinese steel which is cheap and useless as a cost cutting exercise that will only fail and disapoint you. My advice is to stay well clear of them as this is not the only one to do this that i have heard of. It's not as if they are a cheap option either so buy any other type not the JL's.

The other lads did well for themselves and gave the crowd a good show. I enjoyed the event even though it was a bit short for me and i will be there again next year.

Thanks to Steve, Squaddie and Handbags for their help.

Keep your eyes peeled for a tuning update as the Tightwad bike has caught the attention of a well known engine tuner who is willing to help get more power out of the old girl.

If you would like to help support the Tightwad bike Call 07751 267711 or e-mail

Happy new year to you and remember. If you are looking at the back of the Tightwad bike you are not a rubbish racer, just one of many to come.